You’re Going to Call Her What??
What You Can Learn From Professionals About What Not to Name the Baby

by SB Master, President and Founder, Master-McNeil
SVPMA News
September/October 2006

Many books and articles have been written about how and what to name your baby, but almost nothing about what NOT to name him or her. Yet parents choose unfortunate names every day, and their children have to live with the consequences. In this article I discuss what parents can learn from the worlds of professional naming and trademark law, where corporations pay firms such as ours large sums of money to ensure a perfect new company or product name.

Likelihood of Confusion – One of the key concerns of professional naming is to eliminate, or at least limit, the chance that the new company or product will be confused with any other. Clearly, if a company invests the time and money required to create and establish its new name, it needs to make sure that people associate that name ONLY with itself, not with some other company or product. Yet when it comes time to name a child, parents are often influenced by the current culture, and end up choosing a name which turns out to be among the most popular names of the year. Then, when the child gets to school, it turns out that their class includes Michael M., Michael A., and Michael F., Ryan W. and Ryan S., Andrew D. and Andrew R., Emily C. and Emily T., and Caitlin, Caitlyn, Kaitlyn, and Katelynn!

Companies avoid this confusion problem by doing a search of existing trademarks, and avoiding names already in use. There are legal reasons for this. If Company A can prove that a Company B’s name was selected to take unfair advantage of Company A’s existing brand, the copycat will be in serious trouble. But the main reason is that companies want to make sure they are choosing a distinctive identity for their latest creation.

Parents can accomplish the same thing by checking the annual list of most popular baby names, compiled and made available by the U.S. Social Security Administration, at www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames. This fantastic resource lets you check the popularity of a given name year by year, and state by state. It lets you assess most popular spellings of similar names, and shows you whether a name is moving up or down in use. Use this resource to help your child build a unique identity. Avoid the names in the top twenty-five, or even in the top fifty.

Pronunciation and Spelling Issues – The second key concern of companies is that the pronunciation and spelling of their new name be transparent; ideally, there should be one obvious way to say and spell the name. While this is not always achieved (and some companies spend millions to clarify these issues), it is usually high on the list of requirements when a company chooses a new name. Parents often do just the opposite, thinking they can achieve uniqueness by coming up with a distinctive spelling (see Caitlin, above). No, no, no—do not do this. Use your name’s most popular spelling. Otherwise, you will be dooming your child to a lifetime of frustration. He or she will have to correct people, or spell out their name, again and again. If you have decided to name your son Aaron but feel it is too popular a name, spelling it as Aron, Aryn, or Arron will not help. Choose another name.

Pronunciation issues are the flip-side of unique spellings, and a similar source of potential confusion and frustration. Beware, do not introduce pronunciation ambiguities into a name through a unique spelling of it. An example would be Suzan—is thi meant to be Suzanne, or Susan? If both of these are too ordinary for you, choose another name.

Corporations ensure that they do not have these problems by conducting consumer research prior to adopting their name. This is easy for parents to do, and you will have no trouble getting more input that you really need or want! To avoid emotion and personal agendas, do your research with perfect strangers in a supermarket or post office line, at a ball game, or wherever. Show someone a 3 x 5 card with one of your names on it, and ask “how would you say this?’ You can also say each candidate name, and ask how people would spell it. These tests will confirm the ease of pronunciation and dominant spelling of each name, so you can avoid serious spelling and pronunciation issues, and make the best name choice.

Made-Up Names – Sometimes companies will make up a name from scratch, such as Xerox, Kodak, or L’eggs. Trademark attorneys like this approach, because it can minimize trademark conflicts, especially if the class of goods in which the new name will compete is very crowded. Companies like this approach if what they are doing is so new that n existing language seems relevant, or if they really, really want to stand out. Do these circumstances ever exist for a new baby. No. But some parents nonetheless feel the need to get super-creative around their baby’s name, creating something no one has ever heard before.

Generally, this is not a good idea. Corporations that choose these made-up names typically spend $50 million or more introducing their new name. This advertising effort is aimed at teaching us how to say the name, and what we’re supposed to feel when we hear it. No family would ever do that. Even more importantly, several studies among teachers show that schoolwork identified as having been completed by a child with a made-up, unusual, or difficult name tends to receive a lower mark than when the identical work is identified as having been done by a child with a more conventional name.

Historic, Family, and Foreign Names – The rationale for choosing names which are easy to pronounce and spell does not mean that you have to avoid names which are important to your family and cultural history. In fact, it is unlikely that such names will be in the top fifty, or even in the top hundred, so these names can help avoid the confusion problem. The thing to watch out for is that these names must not be so antiquated, foreign, or difficult to say and spell, that they cause the child embarrassment. While it may be difficult for parents to evaluate this, especially if the name is that of favorite Great Aunt Griselda, Great Great Grandfather Elmer, or distant cousin Siobhan, do the consumer research suggested above, as a corporation would do. Check the guffaw, scowl, and tongue-tiedness quotient. If the response is overwhelmingly negative, consider dropping the name, using it as a middle name, or choosing an easier name which begins with the initial letter of the person you wish to honor.

Celebrity or Fashion-Influenced Names -  The most popular name list usually includes several entries which can be attributed to a famous person—often from entertainment or sports world—who was “hot” that year. For example, “Destiny” was rising in popularity anyway in the U.S., but received a big celebrity blip starting in the late 90s. From #87 in popularity in 1994, to #59 in 1996, to #38 in 1998, the name jumped to #24 in 2000 and reached its height of #22 in 2001, the same year of the “Survivor” album, with three songs in the top 100. “Angelina” is another celebrity example. This name hovered in the mid-high #200s throughout the 1990s, then jumped to #162 in 2000, #95 in 2001, and #74 in 2002. “Shaquille” burst suddenly into the naming stats, rising from #743 in 1991 to #185 in 1993, and then back down again, #635 in 1996 and below 1000 after 1997. It will not be hard to calculate the likely year of birth for these thousands of girls and boys, and that is the problem with choosing a name of this kind. Today’s hero or star may be forgotten tomorrow, but these children will be forever tied to someone else’s moment of glory. Unless it is a celebrity license for a specific purpose and duration, corporations know better than to link their future to someone else’s image and name.

Commerce-Influenced Names – Which brings us to “Tiffany”—not a famous person, but a store. While apparently derived from ancient Greece, I would bet the parents who choose this name are thinking of fancy jewels in turquoise boxes from Tiffany & Company, not of ancient history. Tiffany averaged #34 in name popularity throughout the 90s, but by 1999 had dropped to #80, then #100 in 2000, #127 in 2001, and #143 in 2002. This is a healthy trend. It is not a good idea to name your child after a corporate entity, however upscale.

Name Clusters – Corporations often create a family of brands with some naming characteristic in common, such as Chevrolet’s long-time preference for car names beginning with “C” (Corvette, Corvair, Colt, Cavalier, Caprice, Calais, Corsica), or Ford’s current SUV line-up: Excursion, Expedition, Explorer, Escape. Real families often do the same thing, using the same initial letter for all the girls (David and Drew, Kate and Kristen). Sometimes, corporations will choose a naming theme, such as the “exotic locale” names for Pepperidge Farms Distinctive Cookies—Lido, Geneva, Brussels, Milano. Families do the same thing, selecting all Biblical names, or all Celtic names, for example. Sue Sally Hale, who broke the gender-barrier in the world of polo, playing in tournaments for 20 years by disguising herself as a man, chose a more unusual theme. Her girls were named Sunny, Stormie, and Dawn, and her boys Trails and Brook. These approaches work well, and can be a source of pride and fun for families, whether corporate or human.

Where the family-of-names approach can get you into trouble is when there is a specific, limited number of names in the set selected. Imagine the feelings of a son, child #3, whose two elder sisters have been named Faith and Hope. Clearly he was meant to be a girl, so the trio could be complete with baby Charity. All his life he may wonder if his parents really wanted him. Similarly, Matthew, Mark, and Luke were obviously supposed to be followed by baby John, and little Maria will figure this out sooner or later. The naming lesson here is that it is fine to choose a common thread or theme as the source of your names, but that there should be a large number of candidates within that theme, and no particular order, so that your family can gracefully adapt as children come along.

Initials and Shortened Versions of Names – When choosing a new company or product name, corporations are very careful to ensure that it is unlikely to be shortened into something embarrassing, whether that be its initials, or a shortened, nickname version of the name. It was all too easy for unhappy customers to change Allegheny Airlines to Agony Air (before their name change to US Air); Taco Bell is too easy to change to Taco Hell. The likelihood that an obvious nickname might suggest something negative or embarrassing is something parents should also consider, and it is clear that they sometimes do; from a top 10 rank in the U.S. throughout the 1960s and 70s, “Richard” had dropped to #35 by 1991, #45 in 1996, #72 in 2001, and #77 in 2002. Presumably this fall corresponds with the rise in slang use of its nickname “Dick.”

The ability of perfectly acceptable names, in combination, to add up to something undesirable should also be considered. Paula Isabel Goss becomes P.I.G., not so good on the playground; John Adam Parker becomes J.A.P., a pejorative in several cultures; Brian Marks becomes B.M. Fancy families may also want to review the potential for problems when the initials are written in monogram format, with the surname initial in the middle. Brian Daniel Anderson’s monogram, in this format, would read B.A.D.

Conclusion -  Corporations invest millions of dollars to create and establish a new name, and because of this, they cannot afford to make naming mistakes. While parents may not be investing similar amounts of cash, the choice of a name for a child is equally important. By applying the same tools and lessons as corporations, parents can avoid naming mistakes, which are costly to families and children in ways which are far more important than money.

Why not take advantage of all that corporations, corporate naming professionals, and trademark attorneys have learned about choosing names? While these rules will not tell you which name to choose, following these rules will definitely determine what NOT to name the baby:

Rule #1  Avoid the fifty most popular names.

Rule #2  Do not make a common name more unique by giving it an unfamiliar spelling.

Rule #3  Your selected spelling and pronunciation should be obvious; verify this by conducting market research.

Rule #4  Avoid fanciful, made-up, and otherwise difficult names.

Rule #5  Be especially cautious with historic, family, and foreign names.

Rule #6  Adopting the name of a celebrity will tie your child forever to the deeds of that person.

Rule #7  Sets of related names are fine only when the number of names in the set is unspecific.

Rule #8  Consider your name’s shortened, nickname, initials, and monogram form, and avoid all negatives.